05-10-01

WAKE-UP CALL


Warning! This is an extremely self-indulgent rant, in which I break one of my own cardinal rules - avoid attacking allies whenever possible. Actually, I don't really see this as an attack, and this rant is primarily a result of the infighting I've seen in the protest movement recently, but I suppose some people could view this rant as being hypocritical, since I'm basically attacking people for attacking people.

One of the really frustrating things about being the founder and webmistress of the Fringefolk project is that for whatever reason, people tend to view me as the spokesperson for everyone listed in the Fringefolk directory. Since I've never been terribly good at keeping my mouth shut, it's inevitable that at some point or another, I'm going to say something which is going to annoy someone in the protest movement.

It doesn't do any good for me to repeat ad nauseum that Fringefolk isn't an activist group, and that I don't speak for the people listed in Fringefolk -- while many people have given me the honor of viewing me as a 'leader' in the protest movement (if they knew how disorganized I am they'd certainly re-think their assessment), they don't seem willing to go far enough to believe me when I say that my opinions are mine alone and that I don't speak for anyone other than myself.

And so, I often feel a responsibility to moderate my tone and make a concerted effort to keep from angering people who are on our side. This means that when someone says something I find offensive, I don't write them an email saying "Hey, jerkface, why don't you put a sock in it" no matter how badly I want to. If they REALLY cross the line and say something I can't manage to let slide, I do my damnedest to respond in a polite, non-confrontational, 'we're-all-on-the-same-team' manner.

And yes, I know this probably comes across as self-righteous, but in all honesty I'm a little tired of always being careful to appear humble. If I sound self-righteous, it's because I'm feeling self-righteous, and that's just the plain unvarnished truth.

We have ALL got to stop being so damn touchy about everything, and we've got to work harder at remembering that there will ALWAYS be fundamental disagreements within the protest movement. Attacking each other accomplishes nothing for us, but you can bet everything you've got that it makes the right-wingers very, very happy. THEY know how important it is to remain unified - it's one of their greatest strengths. They don't waste time attacking their own in public.

I sent out a brief email the other day to the people in Fringefolk stressing the importance of unity, and wouldn't you know it - I offended someone. Apparently, saying that we should all stick together and not squabble so much is interpreted by a few people as meaning that we should all march in lockstep (an interesting interpretation, considering that I specifically stated that I was NOT advocating 'marching in lockstep'). So, I'm going to clarify my position once and for all, and I'm also going to be a little more blunt than I usually allow myself to be.

If we're going to be effective as a whole, we've got to get over our personal temperamental streaks, our egos, and our own pet agendas or causes. It is not within the realm of possibility for each and every one of us to be right all the time. This means that occasionally, one or more of us are wrong. This means that sometimes, YOU'RE wrong (yeah, yeah, it means that sometimes I'm probably wrong, too). But because none of us ever like to believe that we might be wrong, we often feel the need to convince others that we are absolutely, incontrovertably RIGHT, and we just can't shut up about it until everyone agrees with us.

I know how difficult it is to let things slide. For me, personally, the thing I have the hardest time shutting up about is the need for Al Gore to be re-elected in 2004. All tact and diplomacy aside, my sincere belief is that anyone who doesn't realize that Gore needs to be the candidate in '04 is a stubborn jerk who just refuses to listen to reason, and deep down I'm convinced that if I just hog-tied these people and yelled at them for six hours straight, they'd eventually say "Why, Rose, you're absolutely correct! Thank you so much for enlightening me, O Wise One!" However, I'm also rational enough to realize that if I DID hog-tie someone and yell at them for six hours straight, they'd probably also agree that two plus two is seventeen, that I'm the Goddess of the entire universe, that my dogs are more beautiful than anyone else's dogs, or anything else that might get them away from the crazy lady.

Here's the thing - we are never, NEVER, going to all agree with each other. It ain't gonna happen, and I don't think I need to hog-tie anyone to get mutual agreement on this. What we have to decide, then, is whether we're willing to put some of our differences aside to work toward a common goal. Sounds trite, doesn't it? But that's what needs to happen.

Thumper said it best - "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothin' at all". (Of course, what Thumper really meant was "If you can't say something nice about people in the protest movement, or something nasty about the idiot right-wingers, don't say nothin' at all"). If you KNOW that what you're going to say is going to irritate a lot of people, stop and think about whether it's REALLY necessary for you to say it. Are you going to convince the Nader voters that they should dislike Nader as much as you do? Conversely, are you going to convince the Gore voters that they should dislike Gore as much as you do? Chances are that the ONLY thing you'll accomplish is to piss a lot of people off, and is that really how you need to be spending your time? Wouldn't your time be better spent doing something that'll piss off a right-winger (or better yet, informing a fence-sitter of the facts about what really happened in Selection 2000)?

And, the next time someone in the protest movement offends you, stop and think about what an EFFECTIVE response would be. If you absolutely must respond, the best way is to send the person a private email (how would you like to be attacked on a dozen different public discussion groups?). And before you send the email, read it over and think about how you would respond if someone wrote it to you. Go back and remove all references to the person's intelligence and/or education. Contemplate the wisdom of using phrases like "I'm sure this is wasted on someone like you" or "Gee, I have to really wonder what your real motivation was in saying that" or "You can say whatever you want, but the fact is that...", and for God's sake, never use the terms "whine", "tantrum" or "cry". If the person has said or done something which you feel MUST be addressed publicly (and there are times when I think this is necessary), please choose your words carefully. Once you put someone on the defensive, it's that much harder to come to an agreement. As someone who turns into an absolute MULE when I'm attacked, I guarantee that in the vast majority of cases people are much more likely to engage in a friendly, level-headed debate when someone politely disagrees with them or asks them to reconsider their position, as opposed to flaming them.

Just in case I haven't made myself perfectly clear, I want to stress a couple of things -- 1) this rant is NOT directed at any specific person or group, so you are not allowed to be personally offended by it; 2) the things I've said in this rant are MY OPINIONS, so you are not allowed to attribute them to the Fringefolk directory at large; and 3) the very fact that I feel the need to say that no one should be offended by this rant is PROOF POSITIVE that we have the beginnings of a very serious problem in the protest movement, and if we don't all do our best to correct it WE ARE GOING TO FAIL.

If we fail, then the criminals who stole the election are going to get away with it.


-Rose




Opinions expressed in the daily rant are those of the author and may not reflect the opinion of every member of the fringefolk project. The articles posted here are protected by copyright and may not be reproduced in any form without the author's express permission. You do, however, have permission to post a link to this article and include the first few sentences as a lead-in, if you wish.


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